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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?